So something a little different from me this time (they're will be food at some stage I'm sure). In this blog I am going to be looking at the dating scene and in particular; Is Dating Dead? Title was a bit of a giveaway wasn't it.....
DISCLAIMER: Before you read this I want to categorically state that I am NOT a dating expert, in fact, having met Laurie aged 15 and been with her ever since you could say I am a novice/amateur when it comes to dating - but what I am is someone who enjoys dates!
So I recently conducted a Poll using Instagram asking; "Has social media and technology killed dating?" I had just under 200 responses and the results are in; 71% of people thought YES - it has killed dating whereas 29% thought NO it hadn't.
The reason I asked this was because having been with Laurie for 15 years I have kind of skipped the whole Mobile Technologically Enhanced App Dating Scene - I am sure I at one stage I did the equivalent of a Facebook Poke on Bebo but that's probably as far as dating and technology went for me! I had to use the old fashioned approach of texts (when they cost 12p, Jesus Christ, remember that!) , phone calls, writing messages on homework diaries and actually calling to someones house, and when they answered the door I couldn't just swipe left across their forehead if I didn't like the look of them - which brings me onto my next point - are apps such as Tinder, POF and Grinder just a quick fix (read into that what you may) or is there something more concrete to them that I just don't get? Do we actually learn much about the person or is it all just physical attraction? What do you think?
Even look at it this way, do we even have to impress someone now or are looks enough? Does compatibility even matter? My Nana (Mo) always used to ask me if I was courting anyone - I had no idea what she meant at the time but her phrase is relevant to me now - a courtship is the time a couple spend together, getting to know each other, their flaws their strengths, their likes and dislikes - I feel me and Laurie did do this, we were friends for around 3 years before we started dating and I think this has helped the relationship to last.
Has technology changed the definition of courtship from a time period to a simple bio read? Even Dating websites use compatibility algorithms to find matches but surely spending time with someone, face to face and actually engaging in conversation is the best way to find this out? Not a formula!
Are we Lazy?
Are we all just too lazy to date? Or, are these apps just a modern convenience in a world where we are all just too busy to actually find time to date, with work deadlines, money stress, family and other commitments; are these date apps and websites actually just really handy? After all we are in a time when convenience is important to a lot of us - a lot of us want immediate gratification in everything we do, time is changing, so is dating just changing as well? People have found love, found friends and built relationships so maybe this is just evolution.
FOR ME - the answer to this is NO. I am not saying this is the right answer, I am just saying that for me, I like to make time for dating - I enjoy dating, I get to experience new things and it's something I look forward to and love planning! I love planning dates. A couple of years ago I heard a radio presenter saying that he and his partner worked their way through the alphabet, arranging a date to match each letter, A for Afternoon Tea, B for Bowling, C for Cookery class etc...etc.. you get the picture - I thought, here, I am going to do this, so I did.
For Christmas 2014 I compiled a list of dates for me and Laurie to work through in 2015. We had just married and I was aware that maybe we might get comfortable and just sit in so I wanted to make sure this didn't happen - anyway after struggling to fill all the letters I finally had my A-Z complete ( I struggled with X so went for X-treme date) anyways I am going to share a couple of the dates with you now, in case you're looking for some date inspiration!
Laurie opening her A- Z of dates - each date had an envelope to explain
C was for - Yip - Chocolate making class, when we arrived they asked us where our kids were...oppssss!
X was for X-treme date - Laurie didn't get to the top...I did, just saying
M was for Market Date - a Trip to St George's for some local cuisine
So - in conclusion, this is probably my longest blog ever so well done for staying with me, I hope I haven't bored you and I hope you have enjoyed this blog and maybe have taken some dating inspiration away from it! On the other hand if you are still in favour of Dating Apps and Websites I would love to hear from any of you who have had really positive experiences, as I said at the beginning, I am a novice in the dating world and have never used an app to so maybe it's me who needs to be reading dating blogs, not writing them haha!
Anyway, I'd love to hear your views on this so please get in touch!
Conor
Also, here's a great website for more dating ideas
https://alphabetdates.co.uk/a-z/